That's because I've had nothing to say. Nothing exciting has happened - just run-of-the-mill ordinary daily procedures performed repeatedly, over and over.
It's called responsibility.
I just had a light bulb moment reading a status update on facebook.
I feel like my husband and I are ships in the night at the moment. He goes to uni. Then he goes to work. I make the dinner, bath the kids (sometimes) he arrives home and we eat. We each put a kid to bed then he hits the computer and I well..... usually hit the couch or hit the other computer or fold some washing, or clean a room. Then I go to bed while Elliot continues studying and I mumble goodnight as he stumbles into bed at some ridiculous hour.
Other nights, he walks in the door and I walk out. I come home say goodnight and we say hello the next morning.
Sometimes I feel neglected. Sometimes I feel hard-done by. But it's the same in households all around us. I'm not particularly special.
It's called responsibility.
Apparently I'm not 18yrs old anymore with no thoughts except for what I shall wear tomorrow and what date I shall have this weekend. Apparently I am nearly 29years old and that means checking the bank balance frequently, worrying about super, and making sure the car has petrol before someone drives to Cleveland. Apparently I have to provide for a family and my husband has to do so financially. Apparently 2 young people depend on me for their physical and emotional needs.
And let me tell you ........ it is REWARDING and INSPIRING and FULL of JOY and I LOVE IT . But its CONSTANT and a little DAUNTING and I WANT TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH MY HUSBAND!!!!!
Bring on exams. I have 3 more weeks and then hopefully I can schedule a couple of hours: a) on our own and b) as a family.
Because Responsibility can still be FUN. Can't it??!??!?!
* I am not in the depths of self-despair or depression. Just making a few observations that perhaps you can all relate to. I have plans to live a little this week!!*
oh bev!! ME TOO!! Ken said to me a few weeks ago "I am in LOVE with the mother of my children, but I think I might only be in LIKE with my wife" I was angry for a day or so then we realised it was true.
ReplyDeletewe now spend monday night at 8pm planning our week together. We try to make times to be together. ken has a great online calendar in hour intervals and he colour coordinates his work, church, study, family time, so he can see WHERE he is out of kilter etc
Our new goal is a date once a month (weekly will NEVER HAPPEN) and temple once a month (so kinda a date fortnightly) considering I can see the temple from where I live it is depressing that I NEVER get to go!
it is so good to reconnect and yes it is very boring being responsible and alas this is LIFE. but your relationship to each other is most important.
I am wanting to find other people who want to do a babysitting swap. I am happy to leave my kids here (with ken) and go to peoples houses to babysit if they will do the same for me. I have found saturday morning or afternoon dates (just for two hours) are working out best. No rushing to put the kids to bed, no worrying about food etc. last one babysitter did 2pm till 4.
IT was awesome and noone cried (I was worried about the baby)anyway now I would like to get a babysitter I dont have to pay as that 2 hour date cost us $50 ($20 to the sitter and the desserts at freestyle are $15 each) which is something we DONT HAVE
oh and i wanted to add about the age thing.. gosh i still feel like im 18 and wonder when I am gonna get mature and all.. lol lol
ReplyDeleteI agree with the feeling OLD, and the passing ships, and the responsibility and...well, everything!!! It IS a little daunting sometimes hey and can sometimes feel a little overwhelming? DOn't know what the solution is tho...is it all about 'a time and a season'??? We try and do the date once a month and the temple once a month too but sometimes even that is such an effort and by the time date night comes around I'm exhausted!!!! Ystyn and I went to see a Shakespear play the other weekend, which sounds like a lovely romantic date, and ended up leaving at half time because both of us were TOTALLED and couldn't face the thought of sitting through another hour of something we both really enjoy? I just want life to slow down...:) Can you and Elliot do any day time stuff? Be a littel spontaneous? Cos you know I'm always at home adn ALWAYS willing to have a Lachy and Hayden playdate - the kids ask for it constantly! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Bev, it was really nice to hear from you :) I had noticed that you hadn't blogged for a while, but living in a glass house myself... :)
ReplyDeleteYou made me smile and remember it all...
I may have an idea for you; if you could send your email address through to: sandragmunro@hotmail.com I will send it through.
Thanks for sharing your feelings Bev. I too have wondered how you have been. Email your details and we'll catch up.
ReplyDeleteAMEN
ReplyDeleteLincoln talks about going back to uni and changing his career every now an then and it scares the living daylights out of me.... for this exact same reason... Responsibility, not all its cracked up to be, but someone's got to do it.
xxoo
Alicia, it scared the absolute heck out of me for many years as it was always on the cards due to a lack of career and future opportunities. When it actually became a reality I reacted totally differently than expected. It seemed right and for the most part it is great! (Just don't think about the money) I think life for everyone is difficult and busy with church, work, family and numerous other responsibilities. I am resolved to fit in some brief moments of quality family and couple time whenever we can. We can be busy but still nourish our relationships.
ReplyDeleteI noticed...I've been waiting for another Bev moment of inspiration and I got it. Thanks Bev! You help me remember what's important xo
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I recently made the decision to cut a huge portion of worldly things, like tv, computer (non work related),out of our lives. What a difference it makes. We now have more time for each other and we look for the little moments to keep us going when life is really busy. Studying is hard work, mothering is hard work, and keeping a relationship alive, happy and whole is also hard work, but all of it rewarding.
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