Friday, March 26, 2010

The truth hurts

So I have been analysing a lot lately. This is both good and bad. I like to think I am a pretty realistic gal, generally being practical and clear-minded.
Here's a list of things that I've recognised for quite some time but am now finally ready to admit them to the blogging world.... (Don't brace yourself, it's not really very exciting.)

1. I am quite often more happy with my own company than the company of others'.
(Right, so I am like a total contradiction. I love to be out, I love talking and socialising with people. I jump at just about every opportunity to go out and socialise - except parties, not a party fan - but I don't like to get too involved. I keep myself aloof and distant so I don't have get involved in too many relationships because they take time, effort and come with all sorts of other issues. Quite plainly - I am lazy. It is a terrible way to be and one day I envision finding myself very lonely. Because one day people will get fed up of being my friend when it's not reciprocated.

2. I am a terrible cleaner. I do not know how to clean properly. Please do not look too closely at the window sills in my house - you will never come back. I promise.
But.... who wants to clean those and how? Take for example the wooden window frames on my kitchen windows. I scrubbed these clean not long ago (it was probably 2 mths go but it did seem not long ago...) and they are covered with mildew. Why? And how do I effectively clean these so it doesn't keep coming back? By the way scrubbing too hard with a scourer takes off the paint... oops!

3. I neglect my children. True story. I spend too much time on the computer or doing 'cleaning' and tell my children to 'go away'. Bad mother me.

4. I have an addiction to wasting HUGE amounts of time on the computer.

5. I have a terrible temper. Yes. I do. I get VERY easily annoyed and this comes out in my whole demeanour. Don't come too close when I'm in a mood.......

6. I have a slight case of road rage.
Hayden in the car this afternoon watching from the back seat as I slowed right down behind a car turning off the main road at 5km/hr. I think I grumbled, but ever so slightly...
Hayden: Oh stupid car! That was stupid. What a pain. Stupid man what did you do? I'm going to drive really fast and stop and go bang.
oh dear.......

7. I like to be in control. I think (?) this has been a recent development. I used to be quite a bit more easy-going but now I like to do (certain) things my way. And I dislike being told what to do.

8. I like to think I am 'a healthy eater' but I'm just kidding myself.

9. The tone of the home is indeed set by the mother.
(see point 5)

10. I am lazy. This covers so many of my other issues. They all stem from me feeling lazy a lot of the time. When I look at what others are able to accomplish I feel put to shame......

Perhaps that tells you a bit more about me than you knew!
Thanks for those who stroked my ego in response to my last entry. Really, I wasn't fishing for compliments but it was nice to receive them all the same! Very nice to know I'm loved a little.
Take care all. X


  1. Hahaha! I was releived to read #1- I've thought a couple of times it was me! x
    Apart from #1 & #2, I could have been reading about myself. Don't be too hard on yourself. I think it's far more important to be transparent than perfect because transparency's what helps us to change to become perfect... in a couple of thousand years... maybe.

  2. Hi Bev. Wow! :) Every one of your points is a conversation... :) I was tempted to enter into each of them at first - (I can relate to every one of them in my own life), but then I thought -
    How about, first of all, you write another post, and detail, in as honest a manner, at least 10 positive points about yourself? :)
    I love Sister Hinckley's comment that when she made a goal to read one chapter of each of the standard works each day, after four days in she was only three days behind!
    I'm really grateful that it's ok to not be perfect right now, as long as we are working on it... :)


  3. i understand about most of that.. though I dont have road rage :) I just say that the person is probalby not from this area and is finding their way.. cause I know that I probably annoy people with my driving!
    I have spent so much time at home this year, and I am kinda liking it! A best friend moved away 2 and half years ago, and I havent had a close friend since.

    Sometimes I am like I need a best friend ( i really enjoyed having her come and go almost daily) but I am too lazy to do something about it.. plus how do you make people be your best friend?? we are all too busy with our kids

    My house has mildew on the outside... I swear anything gabi touches has mould growing on it days later!! the windows, outside chairs and table, walls etc

    oh this is life and I really dont know how peoploe have immaculate houses.. i really dont! they must be anal and stay up cleaning all night